My psychosis*

I'm just trying to mind my own business.

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 00:58:00 -0400

Living in my own world, getting the things that I need to do happening, and making my life better. And I think it’s been going really well, all things considered.

And then I see things like that. Things that shake me from that comfort. Things that remind me of the implications I’ve placed on myself by my actions. I’ve lost people, I’ve shut people out. Maybe it’s just self-defense, or maybe I’m crawling back into old habits of anti-socialism. The reason doesn’t matter, just the effects.

Fair enough. I’m not going to say anything. Like I said, I’m staying in my world, with what I need. Nothing else will bother me. I won’t let it.

And it’s a damn shame. A misfortune.

But, it is what it is.

Let it be, that sounds about right. I’m getting to where I need to be. Clawing at that path. And dammit, that vision will be mine. No matter what steps I must take to get there.

In order to have any chance of making anyone happy, I have to find happiness for myself first. I won’t let myself forget that.

Breathe. Take another step forward. Exhale. Focus.

Take another step…

There should be something illegal about this.

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 02:22:33 -0400

I went into work at 11am today. I am given a one-hour break for these long shift. And then two 10-minute meal breaks. For the rest of the time, I am scheduled to be working then, duh. I closed today, so the schedule says to leave at 11pm. I left at nearly 2am. Someone didn’t show up or some stupid shit like that, and after a day of doing menial bullshit tasks because important people are showing up tomorrow, I get asked to do someone’s dishes. Not just any normal amount, either. I washed what felt like our entire store in the confines of that sink.

I was working over a period 15 hours today almost. Nine hours away from a full day.

Fuck that.

I’m venting.

My feet hurt.

And now I have to get sleep while I can before I have to get up and do it again. Thankfully it’s not as long. But still… I’m just entirely overclocked right now.

I don’t think I ever realized how much words being put in my mouth could hurt. Maybe...

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 15:55:53 -0400

I don’t think I ever realized how much words being put in my mouth could hurt. Maybe it’s because I have no way to prove it wrong. Maybe it’s just the subject matter and how I’ve felt nothing but the opposite, but that isn’t really the point. It just… bothers my mind. But, it’s a busy day at work, and I’m working all fucking day, so it’s not like I’ll have any time to think about it, anyway.

I’ll be fine. I’m clawing my way there. I’ll hang out with the same three people I ever see any more, I’ll keep doing the same things, and I’ll keep going to sleep at night, waking up in the morning and doing it all over again. Either until I find something else to do (Who’s looking?) Or until I die. Who knows.

I’m wasting my break writing stupid things.

Let’s end that.

You've brought that upon yourself.

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 15:21:59 -0400

Don’t believe I’ve claimed anything otherwise. But thank you for the reminder.

I have no place.

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 16:55:34 -0400

Photo

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 22:30:07 -0500

<3

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 22:26:17 -0500

thedailywhat: Interspecies Intermingling of the Day: Anuska and...

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 14:05:56 -0500

thedailywhat:

Interspecies Intermingling of the Day: Anuska and Sadie, the real-life Tod and Copper, are inseparable according to their owner Brian Bevan.

The art teacher says he adopted the eight-month-old kit from a farmer who took her and her eight siblings in after their mother was run over.

Bevan says Anuska loves playing catch and jumping around just like his ten-year-old Jack Russell terrier, so it’s no wonder the two took to each other immediately.

“The second we introduced Anuska to Sadie they got on really well and played happily together,” he said. “There was no hostility, they took to each other brilliantly.”

[dailymail.]

T-T WAAAAAANT

You're on my mind a lot, never seeming to go away.

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 13:33:58 -0500

I wish I could say the same, I guess. But I have no idea who you are. So that’s where that stands.

The hardest decision to make:

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 15:12:53 -0500

Whether or not to delete your existing Pokemon save file in order to start a new game.

I’m so conflicted. D:

Photo

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 15:47:32 -0500

amomentinyourgravity: oh foxes, you guys are so funny T_T...

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 13:42:34 -0500

amomentinyourgravity:

oh foxes, you guys are so funny

T_T I’m crying of cute overload.

I've learned something in the past I-don't-even-know-how-long.

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 14:17:18 -0500

And that’s to just keep my mouth shut when it doesn’t need to be opened. For lack of anything beneficial escaping my vocal canal.

s-k-e-t-c-h-s: Don´t Stop Me Now -...

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 13:49:12 -0500

s-k-e-t-c-h-s:

Don´t Stop Me Now - Queen

_____________________________________________________________

“Sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whiskey, and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind except falling in love and not getting arrested.”— Hunter S. Thompson

Sun, 19 Feb 2012 13:44:05 -0500

There’s nothing quite like a good quote from my idol to ponder. I don’t know who you are, but thanks for this. Strangely fitting that tomorrow it will be exactly seven years since his death.

“You better take care of me Lord. If you don’t you’re gonna have me on your hands.”

Wherever he’s at, he must be making it quite an exciting place, don’t you think?

I will prove you wrong.

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 13:51:41 -0500

benzy:

hooliahoot:

benzy:

There’s nothing more to it…

A person has only so much to prove… ;)

I don’t know what it is you’re trying to do, but I’m asking you to please stop. It’s not worth it.

I’m not trying to do anything here, you’re so sensitive.

Are you serious? You message me out of the blue calling me fucking names. Telling me I’m going to be miserable? You’re not trying to do anything? I’m so sensitive. Right… Wonder why that is. Whatever this is, I hate it. Despise it. And coming from you, it’s so fucking surprising.

I will prove you wrong.

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 13:18:36 -0500

hooliahoot:

benzy:

There’s nothing more to it…

A person has only so much to prove… ;)

I don’t know what it is you’re trying to do, but I’m asking you to please stop. It’s not worth it.

I will prove you wrong.

Sun, 05 Feb 2012 03:05:00 -0500

There’s nothing more to it…

Oh god.

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 23:04:08 -0500

That just smacked me in the face.

Hard.

Google knows me. o.o

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 08:14:43 -0500

Google uses a “personalized” guess on who you are by your age and interests in order to aim more relevant ads to you, using mostly what websites you visit and what cookies are left over.

Google assumes that I’m:

Male
Age 18-24
Interests:

Arts & Entertainment - Music & Audio
Games - Computer & Video Games
Sports - Combat Sports - Wrestling

Except for #3, it’s pretty spot on (Wrestling? I have no idea what website I went to that gave it that idea). I feel like Google is just (maybe not so) silently stalking the entire world.

…Also, I have a strange urge to go watch some wrestling now.